I believe that we are put here in human form to decipher the hieroglyphs of love and suffering. And, there is no degree of love or intensity of feeling that does not bring with it the possibility of a crippling hurt. But, it is a duty to take that risk and love without reserve or defense.
On a day like today?
I’d probably walk to Columbus circle and up to Central Park. Maybe meet up with a couple friends and soak up the sun, people watch. Head to the MET, stay in the rooms with the most sun. Head back outside, window shop, avoid Broadway.
Head over into Brooklyn, Red Hook is beautiful, go to the river. Have a late brunch. Or go down to the Highline with a book, a huge cup of tea and a large scarf.
Get one of those Citi bikes and head south, go over the bridge. Buy one thing. If you’re there not on a Sunday, go to the Union Square Green market. Buy some lavender, tuck it into your back to give little bunches to your friends. Buy some veggies or fruit to snack on.
When the sun goes down, find a bar that has candles lit. Mother’s Ruin is great. Tom & Jerry’s. Or Marshall Stack. Or go to the Village East Cinema to see a film.
Stay out late, laugh a lot. Dance. Wake up smiling and craving a filling breakfast.
Part of life is a quest to find that one essential person who will understand our story. But we choose wrongly so often. Over the ensuing years that person we thought understood us best ends up regarding us with pity, indifference, or active dislike.
Changing ourselves. Surely that must be what we’re after when we look at pictures and watch movies and listen to music. It sounds more Californian than it really is. Changing ourselves includes switching on the radio when we’re bored — to change from being someone who’s bored to someone who’s being less bored, or bored in a different way. But of course we would prefer to think that the art we venerate does more than feed us sensations to keep us from the gloom of everyday existence. (Why would I prefer that? What’s wrong with the opposite? I remember someone saying that all human creativity is a desperate attempt to occupy the brief space or endless gap between birth and death.) We would like to think that art remakes us in some way, deepens us, makes us ‘better’ people.