That Kind Of Woman

May 15th, 2013

I think we realize a little more something about ourselves each time we extend ourselves to others. It may be at the bus stop, with a smile and a hello. It may be a presentation at work or for school. It may be putting yourself out there to meet someone who lives a thousand miles away.

I am me. I don’t have to be the same person I was yesterday, or two years before that. That is such a blessed thing to realize. It’s so hard being accountable for other people’s feelings when things are out of your control. Distance, timing, or situation.

We gave it a try, we met. Things were tough. Things were amazing. But, at the end of the day if I am not truthful to myself then what good am I to another person, especially another person who deserves me to be the fullest person I can to my fullest potential, then I am taking advantage of what they are willing to give.

I am not in a position to be in a relationship with anyone.

There. I said it. Actually, I dodged around that…

I do not want to be in a relationship right now.

Damn. That’s it.

This I realize. It’s amazing to realize that, especially after years of not understanding why I couldn’t find “the one” to be with.

Because, (past me), you were and are so young. You are a baby in the world, your experiences are yours, not to happen once someone finds something worthy in you. I thought a lot of my potential as a person was wasted on the fact I was single. I mean, how messed up is that, to think that way as a 19, 20, 21 year old. My worth was determined in my eyes by the fact that someone wanted me.

Not to say I settled. I could have. I think everyone could settle. For someone who doesn’t treat you right, or who doesn’t make you feel happy, or any other reason. I was waiting for another person to affirm what I already understood about myself, but until they showed up I would half ass my relationship with myself.

Damn. When and where did that happen?

What can I say? It was self doubt, insecurity and the overall feeling of being left out. You feel left out when you can’t find someone, especially when those around you seem to find a perfect equivalent. As I become more and more sure of the person I am, of what I am giving to the world as a whole, I realize that it was long overdue that I spend time cultivating myself. Doing things I like, getting better at activities I liked, doing things I wanted to.

That leads to a different path, one that asks the question “What do I like doing?” and “Why?”. Then there is the whole “graduating college and spending a year in a topsy turvy world of possibilities” not that there is anything wrong with that. I have learned my strength, and weaknesses.

However, just because you know those things doesn’t mean you are suddenly complete. God, it sure doesn’t. I am a mess. I weep in the arms of my friends, I yell and laugh and dance in the company of kindreds. I make bad decisions. But, it’s how I handle the consequences. It’s okay to do bad things. It is, as long as you realize they were bad and you advance and adjust.

So, I sit here. Realizing that I cannot be accountable for anyone but myself. I can’t. Not until I make a very conscious choice to merge my life with someone who also has realized that it takes a whole lot of self growth before you can grow as a pair.

(Source: thatkindofwoman)

April 22nd, 2013

I have not, honestly ever had as much male appreciation as I have had in the past couple months. I know it’s a weird thing to state, or reflect on, but I find that my transition from a teenager with no romantic interactions, to my romantic interactions as a young woman.

The scene changes depending where you hang out and what you do. But, in the past 2 years I have realized a lot about myself. Most recently, continual understanding of myself as an attractive person.

Not just physically. I am betting it’s not just physical, but it’s how I carry my physicality. The compliments that I have received are not only flattering because they compliment how I present myself, but how I act.

Men who I have been friends with for years are coming out of the wood work and telling me how much they find me attractive.

It’s bizarre. And awkward. It’s hard to look at a guy you have literally seen climb a building in jean short cut offs with inappropriate sharpie made illustrations on his body while handling a 40, and see a candidate for a relationship. It’s hard to look the 6’6” stoner who lived across the alley for a year, and also a former tenant of your family rental company and take him seriously when he asks you out and crudely informs you of how you fill out your top.

I used to be pretty invisible to advances like this. I was in the first few years of college courted by guys for all the wrong reasons. They wanted to conquer, I was naive, but steadfast in my chastity. They moved on. Then I dated long distance, and gained some footing on what I can give to a relationship. An adult relationship.

I casually dated, I kissed, I flirted. For a while I did this. I felt… lost. Lost in the casual relationships other people wanted to build. And giving men i didn’t want to date a chance to date me. I don’t want that. So I stopped being nice to guys just because they voiced I was attractive.

I now laugh these guys off, pat them on the should and say “Sorry, bud, not interested.” But, it feels like a victory to myself that my face, and body haven’t changed in the last 5 years, but the way I carry myself has, and being able to hold fast to the standards that I want.

I dress to reflect my personality, I have confidence. I am not fearful of social settings anymore. Because, it’s my choice to be in them, or remove myself from them. I can be myself, and that is what is usually most attractive about someone.

Sure, some guys are just going to look at camaraderie and just see that, and other guys are going to step looking to poke, pinch, and prod.

It’s all about how you handle yourself. Don’t allow someone to manipulate you, or manipulate others into thinking things about you. Your choices and actions are what define you. How you handle rude men, or polite ones are your choice.

I am extremely fortunate to have the security of knowing so many of the bartenders, door men, and security guys that live in town. I have friends that have checked my building when doors and windows have be broken. I have the constant understanding that if someone messes with me or my friends, I have authorities, and “big brothers” to go to.

Playing pool has taught me so much about how men, in bars, usually treat women. Not only me, but the women around me. It’s also taught me that there are rules to the game and to the social situation.

Sure, these are small town bars, parties, social settings. But, it’s taught me a lot about myself in relation to how people see me.

Anyway, I am really quite happy being single right now. I am exploring friendships, my feelings are genuine and I’ve learned to be the authority on my dating life, and my feelings.

March 21st, 2013

What is the best advice you can give a single woman?

Anonymous

Before you ever even attempt to get in a relationship, look at two things.

Are you as whole and happy as you can be with yourself and by yourself?
Is the person your about to be with as whole and happy with themselves?

Because it is essential that you be as whole as you can before you can expect to be the half of something else.

Make yourself happy. If you are doing that well enough, than you will not only be confident and happy, but you will also be the best you can be for the person you are with.

February 28th, 2013

How do you feel about dating or being with a guy that short/smaller than you? I'm 5'8" and I sometimes get tired of people making feel bad for seeking guys that are taller. Although, that's not to say I completely write off guys that are the same height or shorter to me. And truth be told I do have some esteem/confidence issues that cause me to not feel 100% comfortable with guys that are shorter/smaller. How do you handle these things?

Anonymous

I have dated men who are my height. I have also found myself attracted to men who are shorter than myself. However that being said, a close friend of mine is now seeing a guy that is much shorter than she is, and she is a smaller woman herself. We talked about this and how she has absolutely no problem with their comparable sizes. She even mentioned that he has admittedly always been attracted to women who are more curvy than petite and thin.

We both agreed that if someone is uncomfortable with dating someone who is shorter or smaller, or uncomfortable with someone else dating them, that most of the time that reflects on the person’s own perception of their body and size.

Do I find men who are smaller stature extremely attractive? Honestly, it wasn’t until recently that I didn’t care how tall or short you may or may not be, no matter how many jokes I threw around “you must be at least this tall( indicates height close to mine) to ride this ride (waves hand over my being). I want someone who makes me feel like me. When we are together I am not concerned with how much my thighs touch, or the way my stomach is rounded out. I have learned that most of the time attraction that comes from aesthetics is, superficial and for the most part has lead me to meet really rude men.

Don’t get me wrong, attraction is a beautiful amazing thing. It’s intoxicating. But, looks fade. Skin isn’t always going to by soft and supple. If you are always wrapped up in the materialistic representation of yourself or the one you are with, well that is going to be a rough road. Find someone who makes you laugh, who treats you well. Who you can talk to, about anything.

Also, make sure that when you kiss them, it’s all you think about for the rest of the day, maybe the week. Height doesn’t matter. It doesn’t, it makes things easier sometimes, like kissing. But, you can always find a step. If your friends judge your choice because of superficial things like height? Well, then, inform them they they aren’t the ones dating the person, and if they want a certain type of man, then they should go find it for themselves.

If you yourself are uncomfortable, try and look at yourself, and ask yourself why you may feel the way you do, and how you can work past those things. Height shouldn’t matter.

February 5th, 2013

You shouldn’t care what anyone thinks about what you wear. But, just make sure that when you clothe and layer yourself you do so in a manner that reflects who you are. Not who people think you are, or who people assume you to be. Not in the things that are fads or trends. Wear what you want to wear because you feel good in it. Because it’s not about them, it never was, and never will be. It’s about you and what you love, and what suits you. It’s what makes you feel like what you wear suits who’s inside.

As long as you wear what other’s expect you to, you are just wearing it for the everyday, why not wear it for you. Style isn’t fashion. Style is you, wearing what you want and everyone else be damned.

(Source: thatkindofwoman)

January 29th, 2013

Do you have any advice on how to get over a broken heart? I dated my ex for more than 2 years, he ended things a few months ago. We tried the friends thing, but it didn't work out. Now he acts as if we never had met. It pains me every time I think of him, of all the memories we had together and now how pointless they were.

Anonymous

No matter what, I want you to understand that just because I may write some enlightening words, that your heart is your own and you have every right to let it feel just how it will feel.

Also, start by reading these two other advice pieces I wrote up 1 & 2.

Done reading those? Because they help, a little. At least to realize that basking in crappy emotions help. Do that. Get angry, sad and put yourself in despair. Burn something, break something, make your body ache with an intense workout.

Now, realize that any memories that you have with him do matter, they are not pointless. They have lead you to who you are right now, reading this. They are memories, stepping stones, they are learning experiences.

You don’t have to hash out what you have learned and what you didn’t. It’s not pros and cons. It’s life. Now, thank the powers that be that you now have only yourself to take care of. You. You don’t have kids, or a house or anything that has bound you to him forever. Not that those things would ever be bad, but just be grateful that this didn’t happen years down the line.

Be grateful that you now have removed someone from your life who obviously isn’t good for you. For whatever reason that he broke up with you, the fact is he wasn’t willing to work through those things with you, and he is now removed.

The memories of him may not be, but those will become less painful and more bitter sweet.

You will find someone. I promise you. Maybe not the love of your life, but life will bring someone into your life that will make you laugh, and keep you up late at night with parties, or stories. They will take trips with you, and joke with you.

The voids will fill, and you will grow. You will be fine. Not tomorrow, maybe not in 3 months from now, but you will be better than fine.

Just remember a couple things: Don’t lose yourself just because you lost him. Don’t remove the pain with anything that will or can hurt you. Remember you have friends and family and yourself. Be your best support. Read, write, sing, dance. Do things. Don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself longer than a couple weeks, or a couple days.

Take this as an opportunity to re-acquaint yourself with you.

Good luck. It’ll be okay. I promise.

January 21st, 2013

How can you have a positive outlook?

thecatknows

You gotta look at people who have it better than you and the people that have it worse than you. Then you look at the people you admire, and look at where they have been, how far they have come, and where they are going.

I am blessed with so many things. One of them being my outlook on life. Look at all you have to give. Then, tomorrow look for one more thing that you can give, even if it’s just to yourself. Each day try a little harder at being good to yourself.

Eventually, everyone around will see how good you are to yourself and they will treat you the same, and if they don’t well they don’t deserve to be a part of your life and you should feel sorry for them.

But never, dear, never feel sorry for yourself. That is first and foremost.

January 21st, 2013

Do you believe in the term, that when it rains it pours?

I guess I can. Good things come in threes. You’ll never be younger than you are just now. They all make sense. But, it’s just my mind whooshing around thinking about all these different things that have come across my conscious.

I watch Girls on HBO, and honest to a higher power, that is what I find my life and my fellow 20 somethings to be like. It’s awkward. It’s too much alcohol, not enough good sense, and remembering each night and bringing it up to friends. I try my hardest to make good decisions, and in the recent past I have been looking out for myself, because for a while there I was letting the people around me dictate how I felt about myself.

I laugh hysterically on the phone when I hear horrible sexual experience of my friends, and I jot down horrible dating stories that I myself have faced. More recently, I have for some reason begun to re-attract men that have come in and out of my life in the past 6 years. Who are these men? Mostly friends. Guy friends that usually look at me like one of the guys. I played pool, or basketball, scrounged through thrift stores for vintage woolrich, or collected firewood for backyard bonfires. These boys have started to resurface wanting different things from me.

Is it because I finally really accepted and come to terms with the fact my soulmate, or even a truly dateable guy will not be found in this bumble cuss county in which I have been born and raised? Now, suddenly these boys that I know are stepping forward. Either with grand proposals or declarations, with propositions, or asking to “hang out”.

What!? Wait, hold on. Let me please straighten this out. You want to date me. You want me to be yours. You want to hold me when we fall asleep, and kiss me before I brush my teeth in the morning.

Okay. No. You do not know me. You have not taken the time to know who I am. Sure you knew me in college. You knew who I was when I was 18 and I wore jeans and my grandfather’s golf sweaters and I had those really horrible two toned glasses. For 5 years you coasted by with occasional texts, or phone calls, that you said annually happy birthday wishes on facebook. That one time we bar hopped and I won every game of pool I played. That time you leaned into kiss me and I playfully darted away asking you what you thought you were doing, because honestly I had no idea what you were trying to do. We are friends. Barely. You knew me at 18, 19, or 20. You knew a girl I was. Now that I am a young woman, now that have certain things that are staples, you seemingly and suddenly think that I am everything that you have ever wanted.

You don’t know me. You only see how I have grown since that time you kind of knew me. You don’t know who I am know. And honestly it doesn’t sound like you want to.

Why is it that my generation just wants to skip right to intimacy? Why do you want me to be yours? Why do you declare it at the local bar? Why have you never in the past year asked me out for tea, or asked me if I wanted to go down to the city, or maybe even just asked me about what I am doing with my life now, and what I want to do in a year?

You say I am the perfect woman, I am independent. You like how I hold my own at the bar, or the music I play at my parties. You like how I hug you, or how dark my hair is.

You have never seen me cry. You have never held my hand when we cross the street. You have never met my parents. Your leg has never brushed mine at a movie theater or under a table. You don’t ever talk to me on the phone when we fall asleep. Why should I be yours?

You have never heard my catty comments, or the way I refuse to let someone gip me in line. You haven’t sat with me to watch episode after episode of Arrested Development, or seen how neurotic I am in the kitchen.

These are things you may have heard about me, but good god don’t ever tell me you want to be with me if you’ve never once seen me comfortable in my own area or ever uncomfortable. If you’ve never met my friends, or never understood how I feel about sex, commitment and my body.

It makes me unbearably sad and angry when someone tells me they want to be with me, or sweep me off my feet.

You don’t know me. You know what you see about me. You know what you think you understand about me.

You know what you see, what you want to see. You know what I have allowed you to see as a casual friend. As someone I joke around with in public, or those couple times we hung out with mutual friends.

Don’t expect me to fall into your arms or bed because you tell me pretty words one night. Don’t make excuses why you haven’t asked me on a date. Don’t blame it on circumstance or time.

I am too polite to embarrass you. Instead, I tell you that I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Which is the truth. I tell you that I don’t think it would be a good idea to automatically jump into a relationship. Because it isn’t.

I don’t want to be with you, because you do not know me, and you certainly haven’t tried.

Be my friend, a constant feature in my life. Not a guest star that rolls in and expects everyone to know the plot. I don’t know the plot. I know who you are in the settings in which we have become friends. Much like the paper dolls I had as a kid, you got the doll, her clothing and the scene. School, the playground, in her house.

If I were a paper doll, you are seemingly fixed already to the scene. The bar, and our friend’s house. You always wear the same thing, and we only ever talk briefly, or maybe we’ve had a couple conversations that close down the bar, but never really hold any meaning.

Don’t treat me like a one dimensional person then profess your feelings to me. I am not the woman you have drawn up in your mind.

You don’t know me, and you certainly haven’t ever tried.

(Source: thatkindofwoman)

January 13th, 2013

you're a big woman. by big i mean chubby. pretty but chubby. do you ever think about losing weight? not rude; only real.

Anonymous

Hi there.

I am 5’9”. My thighs touch and rub together, my breasts are large, and I have, what I kindly and fondly call, a pooch.

I have no problem with my body. Sure, there are styles of clothing that don’t suit my shape, and times when I wish I could do a little flattening.

But, I can honestly tell you I have never been so grateful for my body as I have been recently. Do you ever just think about how wonderful it is? The unique amazing qualities, what it allows you to do. Damn, it’s beautiful.

Sure you might classify me as “chubby” others say “curvy”, “solid” or “buxom” and occasionally from others who have hatred in their hearts I have been called fat. Any way you label it, it’s never going to be your choice what my body is. No one will have the choice to make my body any different, except me.

I recently started working out. I started doing Yoga twice a week, I am eating less processed foods. Not, mind you, so that I can be “skinny”. Here’s a secret; I was not born to be skinny. I carry weight on my body like I carry my ideas and passions, with pride.

I don’t want to become skinny, but what I want is my body to be as equally soft as strong. I want to be more flexible, more comfortable. I want to make my body work for me. It’s a blessed thing, my body. It’s lovely.

Lovely and beautiful. It’s all mine, too. Weight isn’t the issue. I weigh in the above 150 below 200 range, and have been that way since I was 17. I don’t really need to change my weight, but I need to take what has been given me, and treat it with respect and love. Making sure my body lasts as long as my head and heart do.

In that goal lies exercising and improving. Not weigh loss.

December 19th, 2012

Have you ever gotten a piece of advice that you know you should take, but for some reason, you just can't?

Anonymous

My own advice.

I read my own writing a lot. I take it into consideration everyday, and yet I find it so hard to knock out the negative. I do though. I just need to remind myself of my own self worth, and let all the horrible criticism wash away.

December 17th, 2012

Do you believe in soul mates? Not necessarily romantic soul mates, but a person whose soul matches yours and you get along with in a way that you never have with anyone else?

Anonymous

Yes. Absolutely.

Soul mates are people who come into your life and impact it in a way that you suddenly feel like someone understands who you are, not only to them, but to yourself.

So many people come in and out of our lives and they only identify with what they see, or what they want to see. You may be a meal ticket, a stepping stone, a temporary harbor of rest, or just an amusement. Some people come and go. You can’t hold onto them.

Soul mates you can’t get rid of. You can’t break up with them, or move on from them. The reason? Because no matter what you carry a piece of them in you and they carry a piece of you in them.

You will forever remember the person you were or are with them, and the person you are to yourself when they are around.

Soul mates can be anyone. I have several soul mates. Including my mom, my best friend Amy, one of my new kindred spirits Stef, and a select few other people that help me live a fulfilled life.

Just do one thing, when you find a soulmate let them know how important they have become to you. Soul mates need to hear that.

November 24th, 2012

The guy I like has now been dating this beautiful adorable girl for a year and I don't know how to let go. We always used to flirt and be close over the years, but never 'were'. I don't think we ever will be and it scares me endlessly. I don't know how to get past this.

Anonymous

Honestly, I don’t think we ever are supposed to get over the people that we loved. Even if that love was not fulfilled by intimacy. Each romantic experience we have, big or small, is supposed to affect us so that we can grow. That growth will lead to another relationship. Maybe that will be the one, maybe it won’t.

I look at my parents as a huge influence on my outlook on relationships. My mom, as you may or may not know, is a badass. In the same right, so is my dad. But my mom is the one that has from my childhood, shaped my outlook on life due to the amount of time we spent together.

She was married before she met my dad, to my half brother’s father. It wasn’t a relationship that was supposed to continue, but it did lead to her meeting the love of her life, my dad. She didn’t hold feelings for her ex, but she held onto the things she learned.

I think that that lesson is one we learn each time a person leaves our lives.

I dated a guy. Long distance, and it was… well it was wonderful. I needed that. I needed the type of relationship that started through communication, sharing. The physical part of the relationship came later, after the emotional and intellectual part had built a foundation.

However, that communication faded. For both of us. We both realized it wasn’t the real on a certain level. But, I learned what I needed for future relationships.

Then, this past summer I started dating. It was horrid. However, I learned a couple more things. Things that I needed out of the men in my life and things I needed to adapt about myself.

I will let you in on something. I was rejected this past summer, and it hit me pretty hard. Really hard. It culminated with a job that was stressful and depressing, and a penchant for staying up to late and running away from the cause of my stress, depression and my mood swings.

It wasn’t until very recently that I realize that I deserve so much more for myself.

I am beautiful, kind, funny and I have so much to offer someone in a relationship. Just because I was rejected, didn’t mean I deserved to treat myself worse. Emotionally and physically.

I gained weight this summer from the amount of food I emotionally would cook and eat, and the fact I went on a craft beer pilgrimage I was drinking and eating my calories, I was getting sick easily because I didn’t get enough sleep and I wasn’t doing what I wanted. Instead I was being pushed around by my indecision.

In September, I decided to change things. But, change doesn’t happen overnight.

That’s why we can’t just get over people. We can’t get past experiences that happen. Because one moment can change us for the worse, but for the better we need to put in day after day of work.

Realize this, you may sometime in the future be with this guy. But, you aren’t right now. It’s a hard truth. A terrible truth. But, you have better things to invest your time and emotion in. Like yourself.

Be with yourself. Find flaws to love, find quirks to cultivate, and find the things that you are too scared to alter. Not throw away, not change. But alter. Small alterations or large ones. Find them, and find ways to make things fit better.

It’s terrifying. It’s easier to bask in the crappy emotions that take hold of you, but it’s time to look yourself in the mirror and realize what’s best for the person staring back at you.

November 13th, 2012

I left you a hateful message once. I'm sorry, very sorry.

Anonymous

I have to tell you something anon, this something one of my favorite authors said “To hell with them. Nothing hurts if you don’t let it.” Ernest Hemingway said that. Not to say I don’t accept your apology, but to accept an apology, I would have needed to want one.

I deleted every negative message. I read them, I think them for a little bit. About the time it takes me to move my mouse to the delete button. Then, click. Gone. Never more.

Thank you. I appreciate your apology. But, it wasn’t needed. Just try not to be hateful to anyone else. Hate is a wasteful emotion, for you and those you choose to share it with. Some people can’t handle hate. 16 year old me couldn’t. But, I had people around me to help me through hate. Not everyone has that. Be kind. Everyone has hate that they can inflict on others, but it’s choosing not to, it’s choosing to ask yourself why you hate, and what you can do to stop it.

November 13th, 2012

Alright. I critisized one of these “rules” a couple months ago. I told you all that, firstly I didn’t like the idea that to be a lady, or a gentleman that you had to follow a set of rules set by someone else.

I want to break down what it means to be a gentleman briefly, at least linguistically.

noun ( pl. -men)

1 a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man : he behaved like a perfect gentleman.• a man of good social position, esp. one of wealth and leisure.• (in the UK) a man of noble birth attached to a royal household.

2 a polite or formal way of referring to a man : opposite her an old gentleman sat reading.• ( gentlemen) used as a polite form of address to a group of men : “Can I help you, gentlemen?”• used as a courteous designation for a male fellow member of the U.S. House of Representatives.

Well, that in and of its self doesn’t justify these rules and their… creditability. Because, being a gentleman is about being the best person that you can be as a man. It’s not a set of guidelines that you can memorize and follow, it’s a lifestyle choice. It’s like the above use of “classy”. Doesn’t it leave a bad taste in your mouth?

Classy… Say a couple times. Use it in a couple sentences. Read out the above sentences. It makes me feel like the men who read this are taking down notes, instead of actually making an effort. Sure, manners are learned. But hopefully a man who is in a relationship with this “her” is invested in the authenticity of the relationship in which he doesn’t have to look online for ways to be a better partner.

Oh, okay “it sounds classy.” Not that it means something. The word love doesn’t mean anything. It’s the actions behind it. The love you hold in your heart for her is now tossed away because you are only calling her love for the benefit of its sound. There is something wrong about that, at least to me.

I hope my love understands that I won’t be using terms of endearments because it sounds classy, I hope he understands that I use it because that is how I feel.

I hope women expect more out of endearments as well. That he should not take advantage of the vocabulary of words that express the emotions we feel. That they (our partners) don’t manipulate them so that others believe them to be gentleman who hold “class”.

Words are almost all we have to communicate, and not acknowledging is lazy, which in my opinion is the opposite of a gentleman.

October 29th, 2012

I'd like to ask you for some advice, if that'd be okay. There's this boy. He leads this weekly event I go to by playing songs on the guitar and singing. I don't know him too terribly well at all, but what I do know I really like. We've only spoken a handful of times but I'm interested in getting to know him more. I just really don't know how to go about it because I'm rather shy and intimidated by him. What should I do?

Anonymous

Personally, I would maybe bring snacks, baked goods, or treats to the next meeting. Food allows people to talk, about the food, about their tastes.

This would also give you an opener to converse with him. Say hi, ask him about his weekend, a new song he’s playing, or maybe just smile and ask how his day is going.

Guys, well, they don’t need to be impressed by pick up lines, or false attention. Be a friend first, work to that stage. Hang out, get to know one another. Find out more about him that way, and maybe he will make moves to get to know you better as well.

Sometimes attraction is immediate. Other times it happens over time. Just make an effort to be seen, but not be too aggressive. I sometimes walk that line, I am an aggressive person, socially dominant.

Best thing to do is to show him who you are, what you like, and most of all know that you are one of a kind. Be confident in the person you are, because you have something awesome to give the people around you.

I hope this helped, good luck!

That Kind Of Woman

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