Alright. I critisized one of these “rules” a couple months ago. I told you all that, firstly I didn’t like the idea that to be a lady, or a gentleman that you had to follow a set of rules set by someone else.
I want to break down what it means to be a gentleman briefly, at least linguistically.
noun ( pl. -men)
1 a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man : he behaved like a perfect gentleman.• a man of good social position, esp. one of wealth and leisure.• (in the UK) a man of noble birth attached to a royal household.
2 a polite or formal way of referring to a man : opposite her an old gentleman sat reading.• ( gentlemen) used as a polite form of address to a group of men : “Can I help you, gentlemen?”• used as a courteous designation for a male fellow member of the U.S. House of Representatives.
Well, that in and of its self doesn’t justify these rules and their… creditability. Because, being a gentleman is about being the best person that you can be as a man. It’s not a set of guidelines that you can memorize and follow, it’s a lifestyle choice. It’s like the above use of “classy”. Doesn’t it leave a bad taste in your mouth?
Classy… Say a couple times. Use it in a couple sentences. Read out the above sentences. It makes me feel like the men who read this are taking down notes, instead of actually making an effort. Sure, manners are learned. But hopefully a man who is in a relationship with this “her” is invested in the authenticity of the relationship in which he doesn’t have to look online for ways to be a better partner.
Oh, okay “it sounds classy.” Not that it means something. The word love doesn’t mean anything. It’s the actions behind it. The love you hold in your heart for her is now tossed away because you are only calling her love for the benefit of its sound. There is something wrong about that, at least to me.
I hope my love understands that I won’t be using terms of endearments because it sounds classy, I hope he understands that I use it because that is how I feel.
I hope women expect more out of endearments as well. That he should not take advantage of the vocabulary of words that express the emotions we feel. That they (our partners) don’t manipulate them so that others believe them to be gentleman who hold “class”.
Words are almost all we have to communicate, and not acknowledging is lazy, which in my opinion is the opposite of a gentleman.